[ It's a small enough thing for today. Maybe putting it out there. When it already feels like too much in some ways. Like peeling back her skin. Three who never liked to show weakness or assume any stance that required or admitted the acceptance of anything looking like comfort. Not while in competition withholding where she was, especially next to Diego and Luther.
That wasn't them. (And yet it was, wasn't it? Somehow so far down, none of them knew how to burn it out.)
Maybe it was enough to just acknowledge that it was a door, and it was there, and it was on her mind. But that she didn't know if she wanted to open that door. If she could. Knew how. Was ready. ]
It's not like I have a clue how that might go if I did feel ready. There's never been anyone I've ever talked to about all of that.
[ Not even Luther. There were some things Allison wasn't sure they'd ever really talk about. She knew what her family thought of her Hollywood life, and she knew none of them pictured her last many years as mostly alone even among millions of people who thought they knew and loved her, while she knew they knew nothing about her and would hate her if they did. And it was even more than that when came to discussing being married, and her daughter, with Luther. Which was basically never, or almost never, close enough to never to basically be never with like five total words on top of it.
Feelings were shit. This was why she liked scotch better when it came to talking about things.]
no subject
This is fine.
[ It's a small enough thing for today. Maybe putting it out there. When it already feels like too much in some ways. Like peeling back her skin. Three who never liked to show weakness or assume any stance that required or admitted the acceptance of anything looking like comfort. Not while in competition withholding where she was, especially next to Diego and Luther.
That wasn't them. (And yet it was, wasn't it? Somehow so far down, none of them knew how to burn it out.)
Maybe it was enough to just acknowledge that it was a door, and it was there, and it was on her mind.
But that she didn't know if she wanted to open that door. If she could. Knew how. Was ready. ]
It's not like I have a clue how that might go if I did feel ready.
There's never been anyone I've ever talked to about all of that.
[ Not even Luther. There were some things Allison wasn't sure they'd ever really talk about. She knew what her family thought of her Hollywood life, and she knew none of them pictured her last many years as mostly alone even among millions of people who thought they knew and loved her, while she knew they knew nothing about her and would hate her if they did. And it was even more than that when came to discussing being married, and her daughter, with Luther. Which was basically never, or almost never, close enough to never to basically be never with like five total words on top of it.
Feelings were shit. This was why she liked scotch better when it came to talking about things.]