[Yes. The obvious answer is yes, and Vanya doesn't know how to actually admit that out loud, so she waits to answer all his questions at once. None of it's clear, none of it makes sense, and she feels a spike of anger at her dad - for hiding it from her, for dying, for telling her nothing. He could have at least left her his fucking journal, rather than getting it stolen by some psycho who tried to get her to kill her family.
She lets go of her mug, afraid she'll tip it, and sits on her hands instead.]
It felt like - like I didn't have to worry anymore. Like consequences didn't matter.
[For the first time in her life, she didn't have to second guess, or triple guess. Things just were, and if she wanted to do something, she did it.
Vanya shakes her head slowly, then stops and shrugs, hunching down a little more to do it since she's trapped her hands.]
Once I felt that, it was all just - easy. I didn't have to concentrate. It was just a - a part of me.
no subject
[Yes. The obvious answer is yes, and Vanya doesn't know how to actually admit that out loud, so she waits to answer all his questions at once. None of it's clear, none of it makes sense, and she feels a spike of anger at her dad - for hiding it from her, for dying, for telling her nothing. He could have at least left her his fucking journal, rather than getting it stolen by some psycho who tried to get her to kill her family.
She lets go of her mug, afraid she'll tip it, and sits on her hands instead.]
It felt like - like I didn't have to worry anymore. Like consequences didn't matter.
[For the first time in her life, she didn't have to second guess, or triple guess. Things just were, and if she wanted to do something, she did it.
Vanya shakes her head slowly, then stops and shrugs, hunching down a little more to do it since she's trapped her hands.]
Once I felt that, it was all just - easy. I didn't have to concentrate. It was just a - a part of me.