[He's taking on some of the guilt. Part of her wants to blame it all on him, shriek that she would have stayed in control if not for him. God, it would be so much easier to do that.
The guilt won't let her. It feels like a parasite chewing her up from the inside. She was fraying to begin with, and if she had just stayed home - if she had just blown off the party, maybe the anxiety would have dissipated without taking anyone with her. People must have died, though she hasn't heard any of the details yet. She's been too afraid to ask, because then she won't be able to tell herself I don't know, at least I don't know.]
no subject
The guilt won't let her. It feels like a parasite chewing her up from the inside. She was fraying to begin with, and if she had just stayed home - if she had just blown off the party, maybe the anxiety would have dissipated without taking anyone with her. People must have died, though she hasn't heard any of the details yet. She's been too afraid to ask, because then she won't be able to tell herself I don't know, at least I don't know.]
You didn't do this
I always feel like an emotional ricochet anyway