That was--

[Her throat closes on the thought, and she takes a long drink. The burn forces her throat to focus on the immediate threat of choking over the subconscious, emotional pull behind her eyes. Vanya coughs as she shakes her head, wiping her mouth on the inside of her forearm. She goes back to shredding the bag almost immediately.]

I played just - a little bit, at the party. That was the first time.

[She sounds small, and she feels small, and it's a defensive, fearful move that she absolutely loathes on recognition. How could she not see it in herself? It would be like not noticing she's turning into a fucking mouse.]

And it was so - I missed it. I missed it a lot.

[But. But. Everything else started going wrong after that. V forces herself up off the couch, pacing in slow, uncertain lines around the living room.]

It's just - I don't know, I think I made a couple people I liked mad, or I hurt them, or - and then Klaus told me he just threw out Dad's journal, and I just, I lost it, he was the reason that Leonard even--

[She hasn't fully forgiven Klaus, but can't still be angry at him after the things she said to him.]