It can be something else. I don't know, I'm just trying to figure something out.
[There's a pause, long enough that it feels long, but it's short enough that the messages come in behind the first set, and before she can say anything else, too.]
Or not. It's fine. You don't have to do anything with me, Vanya. I get it. I'm not good at this, and I've always been an asshole. I wanna fix it, or at least try to make it better going forward, but maybe it's too late. If that's the truth, I can take it.
[He wouldn't like it, but he would understand it.]
[She's still struggling with what to say, so the texts start showing up before she can figure it out.]
It's not too late
[But that's it, that's all she can bring herself to say, because in so many ways it does feel too late. Too late for her with all of them. They kept her out for so long and now the prospect of being brought in is...she doesn't have a comparison for it, but it makes her skin crawl with how badly she wants it and how badly she wants to run from it.
She can't figure out anything else to say, and knows the small comfort those words might bring must ring hollow.]
Really? That's good. Maybe we can figure something out... soon?
[Maybe not immediately. Maybe it's too much-- for her, for him, both?-- to try and do that right now. Diego is... not quite Diego, as it were, and Vanya is... well, he isn't sure, but he'd take a guess and call it overwhelmed. At the prospect of anything coming from his earlier promises to do better. Even if it's not something yet, it's the premeditation of making it something, and isn't that still more than he's had, or done, in years? Or ever, maybe.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
lunch once a week or something?
Or something else. Whatever you want.
no subject
[She's not trying to be an asshole, but it's that, or ghost him. And frankly, ghosting him is awfully tempting right now.]
no subject
I don't know, I'm just trying to figure something out.
[There's a pause, long enough that it feels long, but it's short enough that the messages come in behind the first set, and before she can say anything else, too.]
Or not. It's fine.
You don't have to do anything with me, Vanya. I get it. I'm not good at this, and I've always been an asshole.
I wanna fix it, or at least try to make it better going forward, but maybe it's too late.
If that's the truth, I can take it.
[He wouldn't like it, but he would understand it.]
no subject
It's not too late
[But that's it, that's all she can bring herself to say, because in so many ways it does feel too late. Too late for her with all of them. They kept her out for so long and now the prospect of being brought in is...she doesn't have a comparison for it, but it makes her skin crawl with how badly she wants it and how badly she wants to run from it.
She can't figure out anything else to say, and knows the small comfort those words might bring must ring hollow.]
no subject
That's good.
Maybe we can figure something out... soon?
[Maybe not immediately. Maybe it's too much-- for her, for him, both?-- to try and do that right now. Diego is... not quite Diego, as it were, and Vanya is... well, he isn't sure, but he'd take a guess and call it overwhelmed. At the prospect of anything coming from his earlier promises to do better. Even if it's not something yet, it's the premeditation of making it something, and isn't that still more than he's had, or done, in years? Or ever, maybe.]
no subject
yeah soon
we can do something soon