Yeah but getting tired of the people you live with is probably normal? I wouldn't know, it's just a guess. There's a difference between getting tired of someone and knowing that they're just going to stand on your last nerve straight out of the gate.
[ Number Five figures that's fair. 20 minutes will give her time to get whiskey and him time to mentally prepare. Talking about how stunted and dysfunctional they all are is exhausting, but he misses her and he owes her seventeen years worth of support he couldn't give. It's the least he can do. ]
[The least. She doesn't even know what she wants out of him, let alone any of them. It's too complicated, too weighty. But there she is, knocking at his door with one hand and holding a brown paper bag in the other.]
[ When he hears the knock on the door, he spatially jumps from his room to right in front of it to answer so that Prim won't beat him to it. ]
I got it, it's my sister.
[ He calls over his shoulder to further keep the little girl he lives with at bay. This is the last thing he wants her to overhear, so if she feels disinclined to move, then she might not. Then, he opens the door to his younger sister and grins at the brown paper bag. ]
I always knew you were my favorite.
[ Five steps aside and sweeps a hand to gesture her in. ]
[Vanya just lets out a huff that can't really pass for a laugh or anything particularly emotional: it covers the prickle at the back of her neck, the old frustration that surges up when he makes a joke - a perfectly normal joke - about liking her for what she can do for him.
It's always something, with the people who like her, right?
But she puts that out of mind, handing him the bottle as she steps in.]
I didn't really know what brand you like, so I tried to grab something okay.
[ Beggars can't be choosers, after all. Things are complicated now. He's in a strange place and his siblings have been through things, now, that he can't understand any more than they can understand what he's been through. It's weird being on that sort of even keel with them, in a way. Between that and the fact that he'd given up Delores back home and, even if he hadn't, she's not here for him to go back to leaning on, Number Five has nothing left to help him cope and sort out the mess in his mind except alcohol. He's not going to be picky about the kind he can get his hands on, all things considered. ]
So, you were saying...you and Diego have been trying to mend thirty years of a rift and the universe is having none of it?
[ He gestures her toward the couch. Prim is in her bedroom, otherwise, he'd gesture toward his own for some privacy. She'll stay where she is if he asks her to, but unless she shows a sign of intending to come out to join them, Five will leave her to her devices and he and his sister can use the living room.
Unwrapping the bottle, Five crumbles the paper bag in one hand and tosses it onto the coffee table to take care of later on, before sinking into the other end of the couch and grinning slightly as the satisfying crack that comes from breaking the safety seals in place when he turns the bottle cap to open it. He doesn't bother with a glass or any ice, he just lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a pull from it, humming his appreciation for the burn as he swallows. Then, he lowers the bottle for a moment before thinking to offer it back toward Vanya. She did buy it, after all. He should probably pay her back for that, but he'll have to go to his room for cash and he doesn't want to draw attention from Prim doing that just now. ]
So what got in the way?
[ What he actually wants to ask is what prompted them to try to fix their fucked up relationship in the first place, but maybe that question will be answered in the setup of the answer to the question he's actually asked.
Five's head tilts just slightly with interest as he looks back at his sister, wanting to make her feel like it's safe to respond and that he's not going to find something to tear to shreds or snap about.
The truth is, Diego nailed it on the head when he'd pointed out that Five had come back for the Hargreeves siblings, not just to save the world. And really, the thing is that he realizes he should follow the advice he's given Number Two. Five has his own bridges to mend or build, for that matter. There are so many years between him and the others and he needs to fill in the empty spaces. He might not necessarily like some of them very well, but he also doesn't know them anymore. He needs to fix that. Regardless of whether he likes them, he loves every last one of them more than any of them probably realize. It's funny how being alone for that long will shape the way a guy feels about the family he unintentionally left behind. There'd been a rosy glow painted around all of them before he'd returned. It's faded some after the week leading up to the apocalypse, from most of them, but there is still love there, either way.
He should take that and utilize it to rebuild relationships with them all, probably one at a time. Vanya feels like the most natural and easiest one to start with, for him. They'd been close as children and she'd been the only one he'd really trusted to talk to that first night because of course she was. She'd been the first one he'd called out for when he'd wound up in the future to find the Academy turned to rubble. She was always the one he loved the most. Even 45 years of being alone and separated and then an apocalypse can't change that, it would seem. ]
[It's weird, watching him drink. They're not thirteen anymore, this is way different from sneaking a sip from Dad's liquor cabinet. The way he drinks now is like she imagines an old alcoholic would, the kind of thing you'd see on TV.
Vanya picks up the discarded paper bag, less to take care of the trash and more to give herself something to hold onto and slowly destroy. She starts to shake her head when he offers the bottle, but then - is this really something that would be better explained sober? She takes a sip, then hands the bottle back, shrugging at his question.]
A lot got in the way, but...we were all there for our birthday. Everyone except you. And I guess - I don't remember whose idea it was. Klaus or Allison, someone figured - it's the first time in years, we should celebrate together. Have people over. Have a party.
[Her voice is flat, like she's trying hard to keep it all at arm's length. It's hard.]
I don't know if you remember. How much I hate our birthday. [How much she hated sharing it with six super-powered assholes. That the whole world loved.]
[ Number Five's eyebrows lift, practically disappearing beneath his bangs. Six Hargreeves siblings having a joint birthday party? He can't really wrap his head around that. Why? For what? How many people could they possibly have invited over? Are they all that much better at making friends than he will ever be? The only friends Five has ever had are Numbers Six and Seven when they were children, and as an adult, a mannequin and a fourteen-year-old girl. Neither of his adult friendships have been or are terribly healthy or appropriate, but maybe some part of him will always be trapped in that first year of the apocalypse; will always be a scared, lonely thirteen-year-old boy. Maybe that's why he's grown this stupid attachment to the little girl that lives with him.
But this isn't about him. It's about them; it's about Vanya, so he forces his line of thoughts to shift away from all of that and focus on her again. He nods a little and offers her an apologetic sort of smile. ]
I remember. I never understood it as a kid, but then I found your book in the rubble and I understood.
[ And after he'd finished it, he'd spent his energy completely every day for weeks trying to get back to her so that he could fix it before it happened. He'd only given up when he realized that there was no going back if he was too tired and too emotional to focus enough on the when he wanted to return to. In the end, it had taken too long and the damage had been done by the time he'd made it back. He blames himself more than he will ever let on for everything that happened to Ben and Vanya in his absence. ]
That sounds like a fucking disaster waiting to happen; a party. How did it go?
[Ah, her book. She knows she should regret it, but really, she only regrets how the others treated her about it. She needed those fifteen minutes in the light; needed a lot longer than that, but at least it was enough to give her a taste. Which made plummeting back into obscurity all the harder.
She doesn't say anything about it, just tries to hide the cringe with a nod. It's too bad he couldn't have brought that book home when they were all still thirteen.]
It was. A disaster, I mean. I'd been - things weren't really...going well, at that point. Just a lot of little things. They gave me a job in a music store there, and my ear, and - it was just really shitty, for a while.
[Couldn't work. No money. No violin, afraid to buy one, let alone be around one - not to mention the small overtures to friends just proving to her that people liked her siblings more. She was already on high alert when she showed up.]
I almost didn't go. I - I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have.
[Bits of brown paper fall to the floor between her feet while she unconsciously tears at the bag.] But I did, and I just - this guy I met, he was really nice and I - he gave me a violin.
[God this is going to be harder than she thought. At least the others were there, she didn't have to explain so much. V reaches her hand out for the whiskey again.]
[ For his part, Number Five stays quiet, just watching the way she's shredding the bag in a nervous tick as she talks and listening to what she's saying, a skill which apparently took him 58 years to perfect. Some brother he is.
His eyebrows lift at the mention of the gifted violin. Five thinks maybe he views the instrument differently than the other six of them. He doesn't see it as her weapon; Five sees it as an unintentional tool for the power's manifestation. It could be a kazoo or a pack of playing cards being shuffled, he thinks, and have the same end result, it's just that the violin is such an extension of her that of course it was a natural selection to be the conduit.
The lift of his eyebrows is in interest, not wariness. ]
Okay... Have you played? Since the Icarus?
[ Just because she got it doesn't mean that she ever used it. For all he knows, it could've just been an emotional trigger. ]
[Her throat closes on the thought, and she takes a long drink. The burn forces her throat to focus on the immediate threat of choking over the subconscious, emotional pull behind her eyes. Vanya coughs as she shakes her head, wiping her mouth on the inside of her forearm. She goes back to shredding the bag almost immediately.]
I played just - a little bit, at the party. That was the first time.
[She sounds small, and she feels small, and it's a defensive, fearful move that she absolutely loathes on recognition. How could she not see it in herself? It would be like not noticing she's turning into a fucking mouse.]
And it was so - I missed it. I missed it a lot.
[But. But. Everything else started going wrong after that. V forces herself up off the couch, pacing in slow, uncertain lines around the living room.]
It's just - I don't know, I think I made a couple people I liked mad, or I hurt them, or - and then Klaus told me he just threw out Dad's journal, and I just, I lost it, he was the reason that Leonard even--
[She hasn't fully forgiven Klaus, but can't still be angry at him after the things she said to him.]
[ Five files all of the information away as she gives it, organizing it silently in his mind as he listens. Vanya has a friend. That friend gave her a violin for her birthday. Vanya missed playing it. That longing for her instrument of choice coupled with an emotionally stressful situation probably made her play and not in a musician sort of way.
He's watching her face, taking in everything. Part of the reason she's so fucking neurotic is that nobody ever had her back and he's just as much to blame as the rest of them, if not maybe more so. He owes her this much. So even though he begs to differ with her assertion that it was Klaus's fault that Harold Jenkins kick-started the apocalypse, he doesn't say so. Not yet. He will, but not yet. Number Five has the unique position of having missed out on a lot of their lives and, with that, the unique knowledge of what it feels like to be without them completely. Vanya knows how it feels emotionally, but Five knows how it feels completely. Needless to say, that loneliness afforded him the opportunity to see the bigger picture. It isn't Klaus's fault that Harold Jenkins came into their lives to ruin them. It's Reginald's fault for treating his children like science experiments and keeping that goddamned journal in the first fucking place.
But this is about Vanya and she's not in a place right now where she'll probably be terribly open to Five's counter on her upset with Klaus. That's hardly the important part right now, anyway. ]
So what happened?
[ He still sounds interested and gentle, like she's a child he's trying to coax the truth out of. To him, she is a child. To him, they all are. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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one of the last people I lived with kept like...newt eyes and stuff in the fridge. It was really gross.
Diego's been trying to hang out with me for months. It keeps...not going well. But he's trying, I guess.
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Well, that's something. What do you mean it keeps not going well?
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We went to get lunch once. Made it to the dinner before I wound up leaving. And there was this whole thing where
You know what it's kind of a lot to explain over text
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But she's missed him, too.]
okay
give me like 20 to get some whiskey
[But she'll be there, after maybe thirty minutes.]
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Yeah, okay. That works.
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I got it, it's my sister.
[ He calls over his shoulder to further keep the little girl he lives with at bay. This is the last thing he wants her to overhear, so if she feels disinclined to move, then she might not. Then, he opens the door to his younger sister and grins at the brown paper bag. ]
I always knew you were my favorite.
[ Five steps aside and sweeps a hand to gesture her in. ]
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It's always something, with the people who like her, right?
But she puts that out of mind, handing him the bottle as she steps in.]
I didn't really know what brand you like, so I tried to grab something okay.
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If it's alcoholic, it's the brand I like.
[ Beggars can't be choosers, after all. Things are complicated now. He's in a strange place and his siblings have been through things, now, that he can't understand any more than they can understand what he's been through. It's weird being on that sort of even keel with them, in a way. Between that and the fact that he'd given up Delores back home and, even if he hadn't, she's not here for him to go back to leaning on, Number Five has nothing left to help him cope and sort out the mess in his mind except alcohol. He's not going to be picky about the kind he can get his hands on, all things considered. ]
So, you were saying...you and Diego have been trying to mend thirty years of a rift and the universe is having none of it?
[ He gestures her toward the couch. Prim is in her bedroom, otherwise, he'd gesture toward his own for some privacy. She'll stay where she is if he asks her to, but unless she shows a sign of intending to come out to join them, Five will leave her to her devices and he and his sister can use the living room.
Unwrapping the bottle, Five crumbles the paper bag in one hand and tosses it onto the coffee table to take care of later on, before sinking into the other end of the couch and grinning slightly as the satisfying crack that comes from breaking the safety seals in place when he turns the bottle cap to open it. He doesn't bother with a glass or any ice, he just lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a pull from it, humming his appreciation for the burn as he swallows. Then, he lowers the bottle for a moment before thinking to offer it back toward Vanya. She did buy it, after all. He should probably pay her back for that, but he'll have to go to his room for cash and he doesn't want to draw attention from Prim doing that just now. ]
So what got in the way?
[ What he actually wants to ask is what prompted them to try to fix their fucked up relationship in the first place, but maybe that question will be answered in the setup of the answer to the question he's actually asked.
Five's head tilts just slightly with interest as he looks back at his sister, wanting to make her feel like it's safe to respond and that he's not going to find something to tear to shreds or snap about.
The truth is, Diego nailed it on the head when he'd pointed out that Five had come back for the Hargreeves siblings, not just to save the world. And really, the thing is that he realizes he should follow the advice he's given Number Two. Five has his own bridges to mend or build, for that matter. There are so many years between him and the others and he needs to fill in the empty spaces. He might not necessarily like some of them very well, but he also doesn't know them anymore. He needs to fix that. Regardless of whether he likes them, he loves every last one of them more than any of them probably realize. It's funny how being alone for that long will shape the way a guy feels about the family he unintentionally left behind. There'd been a rosy glow painted around all of them before he'd returned. It's faded some after the week leading up to the apocalypse, from most of them, but there is still love there, either way.
He should take that and utilize it to rebuild relationships with them all, probably one at a time. Vanya feels like the most natural and easiest one to start with, for him. They'd been close as children and she'd been the only one he'd really trusted to talk to that first night because of course she was. She'd been the first one he'd called out for when he'd wound up in the future to find the Academy turned to rubble. She was always the one he loved the most. Even 45 years of being alone and separated and then an apocalypse can't change that, it would seem. ]
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Vanya picks up the discarded paper bag, less to take care of the trash and more to give herself something to hold onto and slowly destroy. She starts to shake her head when he offers the bottle, but then - is this really something that would be better explained sober? She takes a sip, then hands the bottle back, shrugging at his question.]
A lot got in the way, but...we were all there for our birthday. Everyone except you. And I guess - I don't remember whose idea it was. Klaus or Allison, someone figured - it's the first time in years, we should celebrate together. Have people over. Have a party.
[Her voice is flat, like she's trying hard to keep it all at arm's length. It's hard.]
I don't know if you remember. How much I hate our birthday. [How much she hated sharing it with six super-powered assholes. That the whole world loved.]
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But this isn't about him. It's about them; it's about Vanya, so he forces his line of thoughts to shift away from all of that and focus on her again. He nods a little and offers her an apologetic sort of smile. ]
I remember. I never understood it as a kid, but then I found your book in the rubble and I understood.
[ And after he'd finished it, he'd spent his energy completely every day for weeks trying to get back to her so that he could fix it before it happened. He'd only given up when he realized that there was no going back if he was too tired and too emotional to focus enough on the when he wanted to return to. In the end, it had taken too long and the damage had been done by the time he'd made it back. He blames himself more than he will ever let on for everything that happened to Ben and Vanya in his absence. ]
That sounds like a fucking disaster waiting to happen; a party. How did it go?
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She doesn't say anything about it, just tries to hide the cringe with a nod. It's too bad he couldn't have brought that book home when they were all still thirteen.]
It was. A disaster, I mean. I'd been - things weren't really...going well, at that point. Just a lot of little things. They gave me a job in a music store there, and my ear, and - it was just really shitty, for a while.
[Couldn't work. No money. No violin, afraid to buy one, let alone be around one - not to mention the small overtures to friends just proving to her that people liked her siblings more. She was already on high alert when she showed up.]
I almost didn't go. I - I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have.
[Bits of brown paper fall to the floor between her feet while she unconsciously tears at the bag.] But I did, and I just - this guy I met, he was really nice and I - he gave me a violin.
[God this is going to be harder than she thought. At least the others were there, she didn't have to explain so much. V reaches her hand out for the whiskey again.]
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His eyebrows lift at the mention of the gifted violin. Five thinks maybe he views the instrument differently than the other six of them. He doesn't see it as her weapon; Five sees it as an unintentional tool for the power's manifestation. It could be a kazoo or a pack of playing cards being shuffled, he thinks, and have the same end result, it's just that the violin is such an extension of her that of course it was a natural selection to be the conduit.
The lift of his eyebrows is in interest, not wariness. ]
Okay... Have you played? Since the Icarus?
[ Just because she got it doesn't mean that she ever used it. For all he knows, it could've just been an emotional trigger. ]
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[Her throat closes on the thought, and she takes a long drink. The burn forces her throat to focus on the immediate threat of choking over the subconscious, emotional pull behind her eyes. Vanya coughs as she shakes her head, wiping her mouth on the inside of her forearm. She goes back to shredding the bag almost immediately.]
I played just - a little bit, at the party. That was the first time.
[She sounds small, and she feels small, and it's a defensive, fearful move that she absolutely loathes on recognition. How could she not see it in herself? It would be like not noticing she's turning into a fucking mouse.]
And it was so - I missed it. I missed it a lot.
[But. But. Everything else started going wrong after that. V forces herself up off the couch, pacing in slow, uncertain lines around the living room.]
It's just - I don't know, I think I made a couple people I liked mad, or I hurt them, or - and then Klaus told me he just threw out Dad's journal, and I just, I lost it, he was the reason that Leonard even--
[She hasn't fully forgiven Klaus, but can't still be angry at him after the things she said to him.]
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He's watching her face, taking in everything. Part of the reason she's so fucking neurotic is that nobody ever had her back and he's just as much to blame as the rest of them, if not maybe more so. He owes her this much. So even though he begs to differ with her assertion that it was Klaus's fault that Harold Jenkins kick-started the apocalypse, he doesn't say so. Not yet. He will, but not yet. Number Five has the unique position of having missed out on a lot of their lives and, with that, the unique knowledge of what it feels like to be without them completely. Vanya knows how it feels emotionally, but Five knows how it feels completely. Needless to say, that loneliness afforded him the opportunity to see the bigger picture. It isn't Klaus's fault that Harold Jenkins came into their lives to ruin them. It's Reginald's fault for treating his children like science experiments and keeping that goddamned journal in the first fucking place.
But this is about Vanya and she's not in a place right now where she'll probably be terribly open to Five's counter on her upset with Klaus. That's hardly the important part right now, anyway. ]
So what happened?
[ He still sounds interested and gentle, like she's a child he's trying to coax the truth out of. To him, she is a child. To him, they all are. ]